Letters

The king and the president — a satire

TBO.com
Published: December 8, 2011

Once upon a time there was a Saudi king who controlled much of the oil that was consumed by Americans. This oil was necessary for running their economy and other civilian use, but more importantly was used by their military.

The Saudi king had control of the supply and the cost of his oil as a member of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC). The Saudi king along with other OPEC members were getting concerned that America wanted to become energy independent and drill for its own oil here in America.

So one day the Saudi king was meeting with one of his sons, Saudi Prince Balah, and shared with him his concern that America was getting tired of paying high gas prices for the OPEC oil and that America's oil resources could destabilize oil prices around the world if they decided to produce their own and sell to other consuming countries.

Oil can influence the affairs of a country and can be used as a weapon by implementing oil embargoes.

The Saudi king said he had been paying liberals and American environmental companies for some time to oppose oil exploration in America and in the Gulf of Mexico, but a conservative U.S. president and Congress could override these progressive liberals and environmental partners and allow America to become energy independent in the world.

OPEC cannot allow this to happen.

Saudi Prince Balah, who was attending Accidental College in California, told his father that he should consider using an American operative, "a Manchurian candidate," who could eventually become president of the United States and ensure as president that he would create obstacles to keep the American oil companies from drilling for their own oil.

The Saudi king told his son that American politicians had been bought before and the idea of having the president of the United States in his pocket was intriguing to say the least. The key to this idea was finding a person who was ambitious enough that he would place his own selfless interest above his own country.

Saudi Prince Balah said that in order for this conspiracy to be successful, the candidate should be an unknown political person, a person with a radical ideology, such as what Paul Linsky taught in his book "Rules for Radicals"; to embrace socialism and despise capitalism and the free market and be ashamed of America.

The prince told the king that he had met this freshman student while attending Accidental College, who would make for a good candidate. He appeared to be a charming and aggressive debater, a self-motivated community organizer, arrogant, very ambitious and who wanted to attend Jarvard University and become a global leader. He told me that he didn't have the money to attend Jarvard and graduate school but was hoping to get a grant as a foreign exchange student.

Editor's note: Part 2 to follow soon.

Vinny Martinez

Brooksville