A Celebration Of Mothers

Right now, there are 25,000 women around the country celebrating Mother's Day in domestic violence shelters. In Hernando County, 14 women are spending Mother's Day with their children at the Dawn Center's shelter.
Today, most of them will not be treated to breakfast in bed. They won't receive elaborate gifts from doting husbands. And the relentless stream of mushy Mother's Day commercials serves only as an unwelcome reminder of their situation.
But to them, your pity is just as unwelcome as those commercials promising to make every Mother's Day dream come true.
They don't want to spoil your Mother's Day festivities with thoughts of those who are less fortunate, and they don't want you to feel sorry for them. They are too proud, too strong, too independent and self-sufficient to take pleasure in pity or to rely on it for the betterment of themselves.
These women are strong, so strong, that they could walk away from everything - their home, their friends and, sometimes, even their families, to do what they know they must.
These women are beautiful, so beautiful when they feel that cathartic rush of freedom that their inner light radiates from them and touches all they come in contact with.
These women are independent, so independent that they can pack up five kids, abandon all they know, start over, go to school, get a job and get a house all with number six in the oven and not a dime from the kids' father to help them out.
So today I celebrate them.
I celebrate the moms who may not fit the Mrs. Cleaver stereotypes, but who love their children so much that they risk their own lives to provide them with healthy, safe homes.
I celebrate the moms who refuse to believe that they are worthless, pathetic and helpless, even though their abusers have tried to convince them they are.
I celebrate the moms who have the courage and strength to break the cycle of domestic violence, which is often experienced generation after generation within families.
And on this Mother's Day, I would like to celebrate one mother in particular - one who has inspired me with her courage, strength, determination and unfaltering beauty.
I first spoke with her over the phone. She was desperate, lost and felt as though her world was about to end. Years of abuse, control and manipulation had made leaving a difficult and dangerous thing. It wasn't the first time she had tried to escape her abuser, but she was determined that it would be the last.
She came into our shelter with no money, five kids and a baby on the way. I watched with amazement as she worked harder than most to find a job, go to school, access resources and find an affordable home for her family. For months she struggled, waking up at 4 a.m. just to have time to do laundry and spend a few moments in solitude.
After spending all day on her feet she came home, made dinner, helped her kids with homework, studied herself, continued the never-ending search for affordable housing and went to bed at midnight only to get up the next day and do it all over again.
Four weeks ago, her hard work finally paid off. After months of back-breaking work, tireless patience and with the help of several charitable organizations, she did it. She is standing on her own two feet, supporting her five children and they finally have the safe home they longed for.
It's not easy to leave an abusive relationship - if it was, the Dawn Center would not be in existence. And, in a community with a real lack of resources, it's an even harder thing to leave and stay gone
The mother I celebrate today did leave. And she's stayed gone. But more than that, she's given her children a chance.
She's given them a chance at living a life free of violence. She's given them an opportunity to know what healthy relationships are, so when they are adults they can make positive choices for their own children. She's given them a shot at breaking the cycle of domestic violence once and for all.
There is no better gift that a mother could give her children.
So on this Mother's Day, I celebrate her, and the others like her, who have accomplished what she has in leaving. You are all, to me, the embodiment of what it means to truly be a mother.

Morgan C. Moeller is a crisis advocate at the Dawn Center, Hernando County's domestic and sexual violence center. The center serves all victims of domestic and sexual violence, including men, victims of elder abuse, adult victims of child abuse and victims of teen dating violence. The Dawn Center has a shelter for women and children who need a safe place to stay.