Let's Read The Morning Newspaper

You likely have no recollection, or knowledge, of a time when the mayor of New York City read the Sunday comics over the radio. He performed that unusual public service because a labor strike had interfered with paper deliveries. Well, my papers arrived on time today, as likely did yours, but I thought it might be fun to read those important publications together. Here goes!
Here's a piece about what college students "really need to outfit college dorm rooms." That's a valuable public service. Otherwise who'd know to take bed linens and towels. Duh!
Then we turn to the sports section. That's enough! Most of us already know more about that mindless subject than we do about international affairs, our faltering economy, how poorly our government operates or the unsatisfactory choices we face in the approaching presidential election.
Oh, here's an interesting tidbit, all but lost on the edge of page 10. Reportedly, a nationally honored veteran, of the abortive military action in Vietnam, was criticized for having mentioned that, "The Muslims have said that either we kneel or they're going to kill us." The apparent objection is in that he criticized Muslims in general, instead of naming each of the millions of fanatical followers of Mohammed hoping to cut off our infidel heads with a curved sword. Perhaps if he'd used the term "Mohammedans" it would have been OK?
Now, here's the front page. What important news will be featured today? Ah yes, a captive manatee turned 60. Now I've seen Snooty, in the wonderful South Florida Museum, and he seems to be content with life in his tank. I also support efforts to protect manatees from injury by power boats, but front page "news"? How about Zimbabwe's 5,500 percent/day inflation rate, and southern Africa's inexcusable failure to even attempt to change that terribly destructive, savage government?
I was especially interested in a report about Ford's new, 2009 "Flex," which is supposed to be aimed at folks forced, by rising gas prices, into downsizing from their useless, wasteful SUVs. Big savings here: The new van is said to get only about 20 mpg average for all types of typical driving. That figure is probably a bit lower than we'd like, partly because of the power required to operate the vehicle's voice-recognition multimedia system, along with a built-in refrigerator and other non-essential accessories. Let's hear it for Detroit and for a public that likes oversized cars filled with energy consuming toys and big pickup trucks with bumpers that line up threateningly with my windshield.
Turning now to the business section, we see a report about the NAACP criticizing corporations because they, allegedly, don't try hard enough to "buy goods and services from black vendors." What is "hard enough?" Are businesses supposed to select so-called "black" vendors over those that are better qualified and/or offer higher quality for lower prices? Talk about blatant racism! Haven't we already had far too much of that? The news I'd like to read is where the politically opportunistic and socially divisive NAACP is sent packing, to West Africa, along with the likes of Jesse Jackson, Charlie Rangel, Obama's very Rev. Wright, et al. Perhaps there, they'd be able to do some good - that is if anyone would listen to their inflammatory, irrational rantings.
Next to that bigoted piece of NAACP propaganda is an AP article of genuine interest: "American Airlines to trim 1,500 workers." And elsewhere, in the financial section of another paper, is a report about what could be seen as the start of a run on our banks. Aren't those the sort of stories that deserve to be on our front pages. Shouldn't we be more concerned about our tanking economy, than about Britney Spears' offspring; what our kids "need" in the way of "stuff," rather than knowledge, to get ready for college; or concerning an obscenely overpaid athlete buying into some sort of motor vehicle racing business?
I was mildly amused by a report about cute little Katie Couric's naïve comments concerning why she and other talking heads are accompanying Obama on his in-progress, tax-paid junket abroad. It was, she alleges, because Obama's organization was smart enough to invite the press along. Really? Since when does the press have to be "invited" to cover a news story? Does "invited," perhaps at least in Katie's wonderland world, mean "all-expenses paid by the subject?" Probably so, and thus isn't Obama buying (i.e., bribing) favorable media coverage?
So much for his much featured "change" in the way business will be done if he's elected. Want to make book on whether or not Obama tries to make use of JFK's famous "I am a Berliner" comment while in Germany?
Next, there's a naive, unsupportable and irrational essay presented in the editorial section about how "guns in our homes put children at risk." It can be effectively argued that the "risk" posed to children by firearms in the home is far less than many other factors, about which we do not get so emotionally confused. I will discuss this controversial subject, at appropriate length, in a subsequent column. Suffice it to say, now, that the author wasn't just "off base." He was clear outside the stadium.
Now, let's end our reading session by turning to the politically correct and uncontroversial comics. Wait a minute: I see no strip featuring Moslem Arabs. Someone get me the Arab Defense League or National Associating for the Advancement of Islamic Arabs, or whatever.