Children can have role in caregiving

A caregiver's age can vary from a 12-year-old to someone in their nineties. Many families take parents with Alzheimer's into their home to care for them and keep them safe.

There will be times when care givers might need to ask their teenage son or daughter to watch their memory-impaired stricken grandparent while the parent is out running errands or just going out for the evening. If you have a responsible teen, by all means go out as a couple and try to maintain the romance in your relationship. The stress of care giving is notorious for ripping families apart.

Explain to all your children exactly what's going on with their grandparent. Children are quite keen on what is going on around them.

Keeping information from them in order to shield them from confusion or pain ultimately only makes the situation worse. Help them understand that this disease is not contagious. Express that there will be plenty of unfamiliar behavior and changes coming from the grandparent and that they shouldn't be alarmed.

Children are extremely buoyant and bounce back quickly from strong emotions that will constantly be surrounding them while living with an Alzheimer's patient.

Their grandparent will eventually forget their names and even who they are. They'll most likely shout at them for making too much noise or running in the house. My father had absolutely no recognition of any of his grand- or great-grandchildren the last few years of his life.

Once again, point out that the patient is not to blame, their odd behavior is a direct result of the disease advancement.

There are some children which relate well with memory-impaired patients and develop a special relationship with them. You may wish to enlist these children with simple care giving chores to help care for their grandparent.

What you might have to be concerned with is those few times when kids can be mean, teasing or ridiculing the patient, causing a mountain of confusion. It's sad to say, but there could be times when you might have to protect the patient from their own grandchildren.

If this is the case, have another heart-to-heart with them. The youngster might be acting out from feeling cheated that a parent is spending more quality time with the patient rather than with them.

It's heartbreaking enough for an adult to witness what happens to a loved one dying from Alzheimer's. Just imagine how devastating it would be for a grandchild. Telling a young child that Grandpa Joe isn't crazy, he's dying from a fatal disease is difficult for any kid to understand. I firmly believe it's best to prepare them now instead of trying to explain death when everybody is an emotional wreck. Honesty works best with children.

You may want to arrange a meeting with the child's school. Talk to their teachers and counselors explaining the circumstances at home. Their behavior might become noticeably different when they are attending class.