Essence Of The Patient Remains

Dread of failure is every caregiver's repugnance. Relax, ease like a fog creeping in. Observe closely and learn as much as possible day-to-day.

Remember every Alzheimer's patient responds differently and their personality never totally vanishes, it stays part of them. For example, if your father was a jokester, just because he's now memory-impaired doesn't mean you don't have to stay on your toes.

He might be planning his next caper a dozen years into this disease. Remind yourself hour-by-hour that your patient has no concept of time.

Learn from your patient. This is one reason why I get so acrimonious with the medical profession, the vast majority of doctors and nurses refuse to listen to the caregiver or patient. You're the foreman.

Obviously there are many reasons for your being with him or her, a memory-impaired patient can't answer for themselves.

You might be the only one around who recognizes when they're just playing tomfoolery.

Many categorize an Alzheimer's patient as mentally encumbered. Well, my father has been struggling with the disease for nearly 10 years and has maintained a sense of humor regardless of all the depression the culprit rains down on him. Except for an earlier stage when the frustration was overbearing, his personality has always been his own.

Some family members can't deal with the effects Alzheimer's has on a loved one. My brother who was a nurse, told me straight out he could deal with a patient's physical illness but not with their mental disabilities.

This is why the main caregiver must overcompensate. He or she usually takes over the primary care, financial responsibilities, emergency health care, cooking, medications and groceries. Sounds like a truckload... it is.

I could add a dozen more things to that list but surely you see my point. If possible, it's important for family members to work together.

The primary caregiver will only be able to hold out for so long before reaching burnout that will disrupt everything. Mark my words.

It might be necessary to call a family meeting. Find what written materials you think are important and have your family members read them prior. Disagreements will ensue but let everyone say their piece.

At least, when all thoughts are on the table, family members might realize how difficult caregiving really is.