Today's male caregivers

An estimated 40 percent of the caregivers in the United States are middle-aged men or older and it appears these men are rolling up their sleeves, jumping in and getting their hands dirty.

Whether caring for an elderly parent or an ill spouse, more and more are in it for the long-haul, committing themselves to always "be there" for their loved one.

For generations women have typically been the caregivers for any family members in need. This was often due to men being the primary bread winners and women being home and available.

Times have certainly changed and since caregiving duties can be divided according to work schedules and not gender, my advice is to communicate with any employers involved, explaining about the circumstances and what to anticipate in the near future.

Attempt to work out a plan that will satisfy everyone involved. (Retaining employment may not only be important because of financial matters but also medical insurance coverage and maybe even personal self-satisfaction.)

According to research, male caregivers are more likely to hold their emotions inside, creating more stress by not opening up and talking about their feelings. Men also refrain from asking for help until it is far too late.

Kind of like, never asking for directions when they become completely lost on a road trip.

As a male and my father's caregiver for 10 years, I always tried not to show any weakness. I knew my father was always counting on me and I never wanted to disappoint him. I felt as if my manhood was at stake.

The bottom line here is that not everyone can do this job. Don't be ashamed if you can't handle it.

This might haunt you for the rest of your life and I'm sure that is not what your loved one would have wanted for you.

If you cannot deal with it, find someone who can and remain a supportive kinsmen in his or her life. Focus on the positive aspects of caregiving. I believe what kept me going the most was the companionship I shared with my dad.

This may sound peculiar considering that throughout the last years of his life he hardly recognized who I was, but I will never regret the years that I spent with him. They just may have been the most exceptional time of my life.

So to my fellow male caregivers, these are the things you need to concentrate on: Staying healthy, learning to ask for assistance, keeping some sort of social life.

Most important of all is to maintain a positive attitude - similar to the Marines' "Semper Fi," which means "Always Faithful."