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Use it or lose it

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By GARY LeBLANC

Common Sense Caregiving

Published: June 17, 2009

Three-thousand days plus, that's how long my father has been fighting his way through demeaning stages of Alzheimer's.

He's done extremely well for himself, probably better than most. I truly believe it's because of setting the groundrule making sure he has a tranquil routine life, keeping confusion as far away as possible.

Indeed, routine will be your best friend if you lose access of your short-term memory. Limiting bedrock choices and decision-making will help minimize most nervousness and frustration. Again, this holds true even in setting a schedule for meals or walks daily. I can't stress enough how important routine will pacify people that have memory-impaired lives.

Now I have no medical education. Mine comes strictly from sharing the woes and burdens of this day-by-day, year-by-year journey where you need to use the love from your heart to be your guide.

As I dealt with the devastating changes this cruel disease extorts, I believe one of the most merciless junctures was watching Dad lose control of his attention-span. Initially, I noticed things such as reading the first three pages of a book several times or losing patience during television programs. Progression of the disease was characterized by obnoxious verbal and hand gestures toward the boob tube and high decibels of, "You call this acting?" It was just a few years back he favored mystery shows, "Murder she Wrote" or "Hercule Poirot" by Agatha Christie. Now relentless progression of Alzheimer's has extinguished all short-term memory and he's convinced they're all a bunch of idiots. Once a commercial breaks he forever loses track of who murdered whom.

Fortunately we live by Florida's Gulf coast, where Tampa Bay Rays have finally turned into a winning baseball team. He's been so much better watching sports. The top of the screen holds an attention-getting scoreboard.

He will still ask me 30 to 50 times who's playing or who's winning, but the air traffic flow of four letter words flying around our living room has diminished immensely.

During his earlier stages I'd leave the game-show channel on most of the day. Even now that he has regressed to seldom knowing the answers, I'm convinced those shows have kept his upper gears shifting, if nothing more.

For instance, if he said the answer was blue and they said it was white, next came: "I told you it was white!" Poor Regis Philbin was quickly dispatched with, "This game is rigged!"

Have you ever heard the expression, "use it or lose it?" Well, that's where I'm headed with this. Dad still plays two to three hours of solitaire on a daily basis.

Sometime back during a moment of clarity, he explained to me how, when he plays cards it creates some kind of safety bubble for him. I believe that by blocking everything else out he's able to evade most frustrations and jitteriness for a short period of time. Here I must tell you that if he wasn't playing solitaire I'd be constantly worrying about what else he might be into, so this safety bubble covers quite a bit of acreage. Sanctuary for him, and a little breather for me.

It's a long, slow and painful ride for any caregiver. Hopefully this will help take out some of the bumps along the way for you.

Gary Joseph Le Blanc can be written c/o Hernando Today at 15299 Cortez Blvd., Brooksville, FL 34613 or e-mailed at us41books@ bellsouth.net.

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