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Here's How You Can Help Improve America's Image

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By A. BARTON HINKLE

Guest columnist

Published: February 27, 2009

"Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton pledged a new American openness to ideas from abroad, especially the Muslim world, during a visit Wednesday to Indonesia."

- "Clinton Seeks to Improve U.S. Image With Muslims," The Associated Press.

Well, it's about time! If there is anything the world needs right now, it is a serious effort to improve the image of the U.S. in the Muslim world.

The Obama administration no doubt will come up with lots of nifty ways to do that - and in fact already has begun. Clinton has announced that the Peace Corps will resume its work in Indonesia, which it had been kicked out of in 1965 amid accusations that the volunteers were really spies.

But this is not a job that should be left solely to the White House. It is up to every American to do his or her part. So here are some suggestions for the public on how to help put a smiley-face on Uncle Sam whenever he looks East.

•No more suicide bombings. Let's face it: It's really embarrassing to go over to Yemen or Iran with a tour group or something and be strolling through an open-air market or whatever, only to have one of your fellow Americans suddenly turn himself and a dozen nearby women and children into red mist. It makes us all look bad. So, everybody, let's put a stop to that nonsense right now. 'Kay? (That goes double for flying jetliners into office towers, blowing up train stations and machine-gunning school buses full of kids. Really uncool, folks.)

•No more honor killings. Yes, it's extremely frustrating when your daughter, sister, cousin or niece disobeys a direct order and makes eye contact with a person of the opposite sex who is not a member of her immediate family. It's entirely understandable to feel a deep sense of shame and uncontrollable rage. It's perfectly natural to want to snatch up the nearest carving knife and saw her head off or douse her in gasoline and set her on fire.

But some parts of the Muslim world have strange ideas about the role of women in society - last year Saudi Arabia said it might lift its ban on women drivers, if you can believe it - and they frown on that sort of thing. Don't ask me why, they just do. So lay off.

Also, it might be a good idea if local governments around the country sort of reined in the Ministries for the Propagation of Virtue and the Suppression of Vice, at least for a little while. Just because a woman leaves the house without her abaya is no reason to whip her with fan belts or slash her face with a knife. (Well, OK, it is - but again: Not everybody in the Muslim world sees it that way, and we need to be sensitive to their feelings.)

Finally - and this is just me talking - maybe we should think about letting girls attend school. Controversial? Sure. But throwing acid in their faces or locking them inside the schoolhouse and burning it down to teach everybody a lesson comes across as heavy-handed. (I'm talking to you, Alabama!)

•Let gay people live. I know, I know - complete blasphemy. But again, those free-thinkers over in Afghanistan and Egypt actually view homosexuals as fellow human beings, so when you take a couple of guys who have fallen in love and publicly hang them for it, the free-thinkers tend to get all hinky. (This means you, Wyoming.)

•Tone down the rhetoric. I know it's not popular to say this, but it doesn't help U.S. relations with the rest of the world when leading American clerics like Rick Warren go around condemning Jews as monkeys and pigs who drink the blood of children by moonlight, and calling for their total annihilation and whatnot. I mean, we all know he's right, but there are more diplomatic ways to say it. Like novelist Ann Lamott wrote: You don't always have to slash with the sword of truth; you can also point with it.

In the same vein, maybe the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops could dial back the demands for unceasing holy war against unbelievers and infidels. It might be good theology, but it's just not good P.R.

•Lighten up. Today's cultural-sensitivity tip: The Muslim world has a rich, proud tradition of satire. They like nothing better than a good joke, especially at the expense of people in authority, sacred cows and so on. So when some political cartoonist in Malaysia or Pakistan pokes fun at Christianity, try to keep the protests low-key. Burning him in effigy and threatening to kill him are fine; firing guns in the air, waving swords, screaming "Death to Pakistan!" - all totally cool. Just don't trample each other to death, is all I'm saying. Remember, guys: Christianity is a religion of peace.

I know this seems like a lot to ask. But I think you will agree the goal is important enough for us to make a few compromises, in order to demonstrate that we share some common values. Love and tolerance are a two-way street - and the least we can do is try to meet the other guys halfway.

My thoughts do not aim for your assent - just place them alongside your own reflections for a while.

- Robert Nozick.

A. Barton Hinkle, a columnist for the Richmond, Va., Times-Dispatch, can be contacted at 804-649-6627 or bhinkle@timesdispatch.com.

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