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Hernando Today

Cloned goats in these uncertain economic times

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: April 26, 2009

hour and a half ago:

•Demand that Iran allow U.N. goat inspectors full access to its goat-cloning program.

•Throw a tea party, and add just a hint of goat's milk for symbolism's sake.

•Build a goat-proof border fence. It must be taller than a station wagon.

•Add cloned goats to the list of non-approved carry-on items for all commercial flights.

•Pump billions of stimulus dollars into America's own goat-cloning program and convert shuttered GM plants into goat-making facilities (you don't even have to change the initials), putting hundreds of thousands of scientists and goat farmers back to work in these uncertain economic times.

Can we afford to do this? We can't afford not to do this. In case you haven't heard, these are uncertain economic times.

Scott Hollifield, failed goat farmer, is editor/general manager of The McDowell News in Marion, N.C. Contact him at P.O. Box 610, Marion, N.C. or e-mail rhollifield@mcdowellnews.com.

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