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Hernando Today

Dog Park, Economy In Deep Doo-Doo

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By JOHN HERBERT, From Where I Sit

Hernando Today

Published: November 24, 2008

Leading a dog's life? You're in pretty classy company! Oprah Winfrey boarded her dogs in a Hollywood luxury hotel when a nearby Southern California suburb was leveled by wildfires recently. One of Charlie Chaplin's early silent movies featured "A Dog's Life."
Dogs accompany their gastronomical owners into some of the top five-star restaurants in France. What breed will the "first puppy" come from commanded the lengthiest reply at President-elect Obama's news conference a few days after the election — overshadowing questions on the proposed economic bailout and the Iraq War.
Here in Hernando County, we honor dogs with a park of their own. I'm not sure why. After all, household pets may be a prominent cause of unwanted global warming. County dog-owners are already well-trained to pick up steaming piles of doggie-poop with plastic baggies on their daily forced marches around the block.
Meeting for land-use hearings earlier this month, Hernando County's Commissioners rubber-stamped an additional $25,000 to put the finishing touches — including toilets, parking and sidewalks — on a doggie park in Spring Hill. Sounds as elaborate as the housekeeping payload in the current space shuttle.
At the same meeting, commissioners showed us how to hold the line on expenses. They tabled a vote to OK a $27,500 investment in furniture for a new building at Hernando County's airport industrial park.
Commissioners opposed to the $27,500 investment said that an approval would send out the wrong vibes in an economic slowdown. But, for just $2,500 less, county dogs got their own park to poop in. There's something economically warped about this picture.
The amounts subject to commissioners' approval were relatively small, to be sure. On one hand, $25,000 was up for approval for a "nice to have" dog park and, on the other, $27,500 would have furnished "need to have" meeting and conference rooms envisioned to solicit new business and jobs in Hernando County.
The $25,000 doesn't sound like an expense worth howling at. Besides, a local Rotary Club has promised to solicit private donations to compensate the county for its outlay. Good luck!
Word apparently hasn't caught up with the Rotary Club that Hernando County and the rest of the country are mired in deep economic doo-doo. There's a lot of financial belt-tightening going on. Among the first areas to feel the pinch are private charities like Rotary.
In the currently dour business climate, it's doubtful that Rotary will ever come close to covering the county's $25,000 contribution, however insignificant the amount may sound in an overall budgetary context.
Hernando County should sell the Spring Hill site, get out of the doggie-doo business altogether, and find a tenant or developer that can use the park to generate decent revenue for Brooksville. Dogs can do their business in just about any neighbor's yard. Owners have an unlimited supply of plastic bags.
There's a simple and pragmatic version of a dog park in Buenos Aires, reputedly one of the biggest cities in the world. City fathers have just fenced off a small grass triangle and put up a sign reading, "doggie, this one's for you." Parking is on the street; toilets obviously aren't necessary. Paved sidewalks are already in place.
Or, we could go private. A pattern might bean exclusive back yard near San Francisco that's actually called "A Dog's Life" and features — get this — chaperoned puppy socials.
Someone should also muster the courage to inform President-elect Obama that most dogs are going to shed to some extent — unless the creature is a frightening-looking hairless Peruvian breed. Obama should choose among politically-correct shelter mutts, instead. Just keep the dog out of the White House upstairs bedrooms.

A regular columnist for Hernando Today, John Herbert lives in Spring Hill.

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