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Hernando Today

Senior Home For The Holidays

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By TONY MARRERO

Hernando Today

Published: December 26, 2008

SPRING HILL - December was prime time for Jackie Clarkin.

Clarkin, first in Canada and then in Sarasota, "always made a big deal of Christmas," she recalls.

She would break out the decorations to make the Clarkin home as festive as possible for her husband Joe and the couple's five children. Clarkin took extra care to place shimmering tinsel on just about every needle of the Christmas tree.

"It took me two weeks to trim that tree," she recalled Thursday, smiling.

One year, she walked into the family room to find her youngest daughter sleeping under the tree. "Waiting for Santa," she told Mom.

The memories came flooding back just after Thanksgiving this year when a volunteer came to deck the halls of the Forest Oaks Care Center in Spring Hill, where Clarkin now lives. Up went the foam snowflakes and the wooden reindeer and polar bear complete with Santa hat, perched on a cotton snow bank.

It was a nice touch, Clarkin said.

"It's just a wonderful feeling that they know you're here," said Clarkin as she sat under the soaring ceilings of the center's atrium, sitting in the shadow of 10-foot Christmas tree along with a couple dozen fellow residents waiting for Santa to arrive to hand out gifts.

The assisted-living facility on Forest Oaks Boulevard has been Clarkin's home for two years this month. Thursday marked her second Christmas, and the 81-year-old said the place finally does feel more like home.

"I didn't like it at first," admits Clarkin, a retired registered nurse. "I was used to being the caregiver. Now I'm a resident. That takes a bit of getting used to. But I'm a survivor, I don't take things to heart, and I depend on God, so it's been OK."

The holidays can be a difficult time for older adults, according to the Geriatric Mental Health Foundation.

"During the holidays, older adults may feel more acutely the passing of time, the absence of parents, siblings and friends who have died, and the distance of loved ones who have moved away," notes a section on the nonprofit foundation's Web site. "Traditional reunions and rituals that were observed in the past may not be possible and in their absence, the holidays may seem devoid of meaning."

Dreams Robinson, activities coordinator at the Forest Oaks Care Center, said she sees that firsthand.

Many residents don't have family members close enough for regular visits, Robinson said. Some don't have any family left at all.

That's why the center works to make the place merry each year, she said.

"When our residents are happy, we're happy," Robinson said as Santa jingled his bells and handed out presents and hugs.

Clarkin is happier than she was last Christmas.

She and Joe moved to Sarasota from Canada in 1982 at the recommendation of Joe's doctor, who said warm weather would add years to his life, Jackie recalls.

Joe, who was also battling cancer, died of heart failure in 1997 at the age of 65. Jackie took care of him in his last few years.

"He was a wonderful patient, and I loved caring for him," she said.

The couple's children, ranging in age from 47 to 58, are all professionals and "they're all wonderful, so I did something right," she says, laughing.

After living on her own for a while, Clarkin moved in with one of her daughters and her husband in Land O' Lakes. It didn't work out.

"He called me a know-it-all," she said of her son-in-law. "He made her kick me out."

The other four children live out of state, so visits are few and far between. Clarkin, meanwhile, is settling in as best she can.

"I've realized we're all put here for a reason," she says, then admits: "I don't know if I know what mine is."

She has tried to find out, volunteering to serve as president of the center's Resident Council, which provides input to administrators on how to improve the place. She praises the staff at the center, but said her fellow residents still can help make it better.

"I think people here think they aren't supposed to complain, but how are people supposed to know how you feel," she said.

She's made friends and enjoys the active schedule: Visits to the public library every Tuesday, the bank on Wednesday, Wal-Mart on Friday and frequent visits to local restaurants.

Still, Clarkin has hopes of living out her days elsewhere.

Another daughter lives with her husband back in Canada, and the couple are building an addition on to their home with Mom in mind.

"They've already invited me," she said. "They said, 'We'll get you as soon as we can."

Reporter Tony Marrero can be reached at 352-544-5286 or lmarrero@hernandotoday.com.

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