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Hernando Today

Happy Whatever!

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By JOHN G. NASH

Published: December 21, 2007

This special edition of my opinion column is written especially for the friends and business associates I see all too seldom throughout each, quickly-passing year.
Well, more things broke than usual (myself not excluded); politicians and lawyers (are those two different occupations?) continued to do their best to destroy what was once the greatest nation on this good earth; the ACLU and other limp-wristed liberals continued their misguided, naive crusades to undermine centuries-old customs, conventions, and mores, which had once held our diverse society happily together; Mexico successfully invaded the U.S. of A., while the U.S. failed to conclude its bungled invasion of Iraq; and taxes went up, while our children's educational level went down. Nevertheless, I somehow managed to reasonably enjoy life (somewhat assisted, I admit, by Martini & Rossi's vital contribution to British gin).
Beaten down by Homeland Security's bumbling and increasingly inconvenient and ineffective attempts at making air travel safe, and discouraged by U.S airlines singularly unpleasant service, I chose to curtail, or cease, travel by commercial air, making only one such trip all year (to explore the Balkans). All of my other business trips (yes, it's a tough life, but someone has to do it) were accomplished by driving myself throughout our own wonderful Southeast. I revisited southwestern Louisiana (Cajun Country), and ventured as far as East Texas (Beaumont and Port Arthur}. I began to feel my age while covering a recreation of the Battle for Atlanta, which was staged on 100-plus acres of the Nash Farm (no relation, as far as I know). I thoroughly enjoyed being shown the highlights of Florida's own Polk County, the many attractions of justifiably famous Daytona Beach, the fascinating secrets of Tennessee's Oak Ridge, and being introduced to a changed Albany, Georgia, which is an interesting and enjoyable place for visitors.
Not all of my travels were without less-than-pleasant side effects. On returning home from one lengthy trip, my nose told me that my chest freezer had gone belly-up. The considerable contents were a total loss; the noxious odor hung around for weeks. Following another long trip, I was greeted by a house full of 4-foot Corn snakes, which were apparently having a slithering orgy. "Welcome Home!"
I did my part to help dermatologists, dentists, surgeons, and G.P.s enjoy the lives to which they may have become accustomed. And I bailed out of the sputtering stock market: just wasn't enjoying the roller coaster ride. My remaining investments are in tax-supported, public housing projects for wet-back immigrants from Mexico.
By the time you read this letter, I should be a great grandfather for the fourth time. My children, and their offspring, are all generally healthy, happy, and successful. I love them all, even though none are vice presidents of major corporations, nor achieving 8.94 grade point averages in school. Perhaps next year?
Happy whatever.

John G. Nash is a widely traveled and experienced writer and photographer, whose articles have been featured in more than 125 different publications. Now based in west central Florida, he welcomes comments, via e-mail to john@have-eye.com.

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